* * * So, ever since we had an incident last month (or maybe the month before, I don’t remember) with a neighborhood cat getting into our house, we’ve started shutting the cat door at night. Usually, Fancypants comes into the house sometime between 7:30 and 9, and when Fred hears him come in, he goes and shuts the door so no one else can go in or out. I’ve been saying that one night Fancypants wouldn’t bother to come home, and Fred would have to decide whether to lock him out all night, or leave the cat door open. Last night was that night. At 9:00, when Fancypants hadn’t come back through the door, Fred went out into the yard and called for him. We went upstairs to read, and Fred came back downstairs to check for him a couple of times, then closed the cat door. Before going to bed, Fred checked the yard a few more times, but Fancypants was never out there. I checked myself a few times before I went to sleep, and again he was never around. He finally moseyed into the house sometime this morning to get some food, and then left again, and I haven’t seen him since. I suspect he’s either got a girlfriend (one who doesn’t mind that he’s neutered), or he’s found a family he likes better. Fred’s mostly worried about the fact that Fancypants is declawed in the front and can’t defend himself, and he’s also the most aggressive of our cats, so if he picks a fight with the wrong cat (or dog), he’ll get his ass kicked. As much as I want to boot Fancypants in the butt sometimes for his carpet-shitting chair-peeing ways, I do worry about him, too. I know that we could just keep the cat door closed all the time, but I don’t think it’s fair to the other cats, who like to go out and sit in the yard during the day. If they could all jump the fence, it’d be one thing, but clearly Fancypants is the only one who’s light enough to do it. Damn cats. They sure do like to make me worry.

* * *
Fred was flipping around the news channels last night, and I was reading a magazine, looking up from time to time. On either Fox News or CNN, Harlan Ullman, the author of Shock and Awe: Achieving Rapid Dominance (one of the authors, I guess I should say) was being interviewed. I half-listened to the interview and a moment before Fred changed the channel, he said something about the American bombing runs. My mind whirred and processed what I’d heard. I put down my magazine, my eyes wide. “‘The boldness and bodaciousness of the American bombing runs’?!” I repeated what I’d heard. Fred laughed. “Boldness and audaciousness,” he corrected. I think I like my version better.]]>