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So last night right before bed, I went to the Showtime page for Penn and Teller’s Bullshit!, and they had updated it since last I looked. On the main page, where there had been a picture illustrating last week’s topic (ESP), was a picture of Fred and I, standing in the back yard, our “fat” pants held up in front of us, and we were squinting into the sun.
During our experience taping our part in Bullshit!, one of the goofy things we had to do was go out into the backyard, stand so we were staring into the sun, and take turns saying “Hi! I’m Fred And3rson!” “And I’m Robyn And3rson!” “And together we’ve lost 300 pounds!” Sometimes Fred would say his name first, sometimes I’d say mine first. Sometimes we’d say the part about losing 300 pounds together, sometimes just one of us would say it. Over and over and OVER again. The sun wasn’t bothering Fred’s eyes, but I’m fairly certain I have holes in my retinas. As time passed, my eyes hurt more and more until I was squinting so much you could barely see that I had eyeballs, and still “One more take! Just one more!”
Producers are liars, is what they are.
Anyway, they took a picture from one of those many takes, and put it on the main page.
You will note that I already have 100 less chins than in the promo. And DAMN am I white. I also look a little constipated, but that’s just because the sun was glaring through my eyes and eating into my brain.
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And speaking of Bullshit! and the Showtime page, amongst the list of “experts” they have listed – in fact, #1 on the list of experts, since they do them alphabetically – would be, yes, me. They linked to my weight loss website. I’ve been checking my stats every couple of hours to see how many referrals I’m getting from that page. I’d say I’ve gotten less than 100 so far, and none of them seem to be staying around for long. Which makes all grumpy and mutter to myself, “What’s the matter, am I not INTERESTING enough for you, you bastards?!”
But then I realize that the show hasn’t even aired yet, and I’ll probably be flooded with hits, and also a lot of emails containing messages like “Hi. What R U doing to loose weight and how much weight have U lost?”, and I calm down.
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Okay, I think I’m going to slap up a Friday Five or two, and call it a day. See you on Monday!
1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life? Oh, let me think… As a kid, I lived in:
Bangor, Maine
A base in Indiana
Goosebay, Canada
Kinchloe AFB, Michigan
Guam
Loring AFB, Maine
Lisbon Falls, Maine
After the age of 18, I lived in:
Durham, Maine
Brunswick, Maine
Bath, Maine
Brunswick, Maine
Newport, Rhode Island
Lisbon Falls, Maine
Newport, Rhode Island
Huntsville, Alabama
Madison, Alabama (the old house)
Madison, Alabama (now)
So, 17 altogether.
2. Which was your favorite and why?
I have a soft spot for the first apartment I ever lived in by myself (uh, the only apartment I ever lived in by myself) on Main Street in Brunswick, Maine. It was a shithole, but I have some happy memories from there.
3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
Stressful, because I just want to get it done and over with.
4. What’s more important, location or price?
I would say price, but actually I think location is more important. When we were looking for a house last time, we started off thinking that we’d get a less expensive house out in the country, but actually ended up with a house that cost around the same price in a nicer neighborhood.
5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
I’d like to have more land, not be so close to our neighbors, and maybe a bigger kitchen, but I think the house we’re in is pretty close to perfect. Except for the carpeted stairs, of course. A hot tub would be pretty nice, too. And a room off by itself that I could escape to when Fred’s watching his loud-ass action movies.
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