The Gender Genie. I decided to give it a try, and cut and pasted my entry from the 7th. Results? I’m male.
Wouldn’t it be funny if the Gender Genie said that Fred was female? I thought to myself. I went to a random entry of his, pasted the text in the little box, and hit “submit.”
Male.
I called Fred and told him that according to The Gender Genie, I’m male.
“I knew I was gay!” Fred said. Later, he called me back.
“I put four different entries from your journal in The Gender Genie, and it always comes back male. Then I did four of mine, and it said I was male, too. So I put four of Nance‘s in, and it came back female. Same with Jane.”
I need to go crack open a beer, watch the game, scratch my balls, and think about what this means.
* * *
Nance emailed me a head’s up at the end of last week regarding something in
US Magazine, and when I got the latest issue on Saturday, I looked, and sure enough, there it was.

Don’t see the offending body part? Go
here for a closeup.
Apparently they’re having a fit over at
US – this is what Nance forwarded to me:
January 8, 2004 — LOOK closely on page 72 of Us Weekly and you’ll see a body part that isn’t supposed to be showing. A story about the second season of “Top Model,” a reality show hosted by Tyra Banks, is illustrated with a photo of a redhead in body paint accompanied by a blond male model on one knee. His raised leg is supposed to conceal his nether regions, but something is dangling into view. The Us editors are furious with UPN, which provided the photo. A network rep said, “It’s been busy around here and apparently someone took their eye off the ball.”
“Eye off the ball”! Hee!
* * *
Did I mention that when I was in Maine, we went to the movies FIVE different times? It rocked, because Fred isn’t a big fan of going to the movies, so I got to see all the ones I’ve been wanting to see:
Cheaper By the Dozen – predictable, but any movie with the ultra-adorable
Tom Welling in it is worth the price of admission.
Elf – the perfect role for Will Ferrell, and some really funny scenes.
Something’s Gotta Give – some funny scenes, but it dragged a lot; I think my mother slept through the first half of it. I was pretty disappointed, because I wanted to see that more than anything, and it wasn’t nearly as funny as I’d hoped.
Cold Mountain – this is the movie I wanted to see least, and I loved it more than any of the others. Who could have known that Renee Zellweiger could be so funny? We were in a crappy little theater, every seat was taken, it’s a 2 1/2 hour movie, and still I loved it. That says something, right there.
Mona Lisa Smile – which I liked more than I expected. I’m not a big Julia Roberts fan, but she’s definitely got charm. I did want to slap the hell out of Kirsten Dunst, though. And that Maggie Gyllenhaal is the coolest chick ever, ain’t she?
* * *
I know I mentioned that I was getting a
Dyson vaccum due to an unexpected bonus that Fred got around Christmas. I ordered it through Amazon (free shipping!), and it arrived while I was still in Maine. At first I told Fred he wasn’t allowed to touch it, because he wouldn’t let me bring the new camera to Maine with me, but then I relented and asked him to take it out of the box and put it together before I got home. Sunday, he vacuumed the entire house with our old vacuum cleaner. Monday, he took the Dyson out of the box, put it together, and vacuumed the house again. He actually saved what he vacuumed up to show me, because he was so impressed with how much there was. There was a huge amount of stuff – mostly cat hair – and when I vacuumed on Tuesday, I got a huge amount of dust and cat hair, too.
I cannot say it enough – I LOVE this vacuum! LOVE IT. Love the color, love the great suction, love the way you can see what’s whirling around in the canister, love the attachments, love the long hose (I can just barely reach the top of the stairs, with the body of the vacuum at the bottom). LOVE IT. I went out into the garage and vacuumed the rugs out there, which were coated with pieces of dried-up leaves the wind blows into the garage every time we open the door. The Dyson sucked those up without even blinking.
Two thumbs up to the Dyson, at least so far!
I also went into the spud’s room, which rarely gets vacuumed (the spud appears to be as careful and conscientious a housekeeper as her momma), and filled up the canister. I was both impressed and icked out, because the spud’s room is very small. Clearly I need to yell at her to vacuum her room more than once every six months.
* * *
This year, my sister made her Christmas present to me, and I LOVE it. It took her some ungodly amount of time to finish and it’s beautiful, and did I mention that I LOVE it?

My sister sure does rock.
* * *
Da Bean sure does love his daddy.
Have you ever seen a more content kitty? (This picture was taken using the “night vision” setting on our new camera)
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We nee a picture of the Dyson!
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Dyson is awesome! I don’t have one yet, but I did read the article Good Housekeeping did on the Dyson and it really doesn’t ever loose its suction, whoot! 🙂 Glad that someone I ‘know’ has one and loves it as much as I want to!
I love how you tell the WHOLE WORLD that I send you emails about BALLS. Hee! But hey, at least Jane and I are females.
I have some news for you. Your brother is as gay as your husband. Six of my entries reveal the truth — it could be me in that picture with the dangler.
I have a Dyson also! It totally rocks! It is the best investment ever. Mine is barbie pink, the same model as yours. The hot pink was a special edition to benefit Children’s Cancer and Leukemia research. I think it was only available in the UK, where I’m currently living. I LOVE MY DYSON!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!
Robyn – just thought I’d tell you that the week before Christmas I vacationed in Costa Del Sol. There are tons of stray cats everywhere. Out of nowhere, my husband (who knows I read you) said, “Wow, Bitchypoo would love this place!” From then on whenever we saw stray cats (every 10 seconds), I thought of you! 🙂
OK, now I need to go get myself a Dyson. While I cannot vaccum my floors until Friday (the whole “don’t clean house for a week because it’s Robyn’s birthday” thing”), I have a Kirby that I paid a buttload of money for, and it doesn’t pick up pet hair very well at all.
Well, apparently I am male too, so don’t feel bad!!
Thanks for the US photo. I had heard about that and forgot to Google and look for it. Yep, definitely some danglin’ goin’ on there.
Today’s entry had me laughing my ass off! I REALLY needed it today!
The Stanley pics are so sweet my cavity hurts!
I bought a dyson a couple months ago. It pulled up hair and dust from a area rug that no other vacuum could clean. The rug is blue again! I love my dyson and recommend anyone who can afford it, buy it.
Robyn,
Cute photos of Stanley! He has got to be the happiest cat in the world. Just for GP, I posted some photos of my niece’s new kitten, FES on my webpage today. She is all black and a 5 1/2 week old dynamo. Go see!
OMG, I cannot live without my Dyson Animal (the purple one.) My brother introduced me to it, as his family bought one to combat their dog hair problem (an inside-living Siberian Husky). My SIL is a compulsive cleaner and they’ve gone through 5 vacuums in 4 years – until the Dyson. It truly rocks.
I took his for a “test drive” before plunking down the money for ours, and was hooked. I hate, hate, hate, hate housecleaning, but I love my Animal. It even cleans our hardwood floors of kitty hair tumbleweeds.
Glad you love yours, Robyn.
Cheers,
~Aly in GA
hey robyn, was that in the us magazine with britney on the cover?
Joy – I’m putting Costa del Sol on my list of places I want to visit! 🙂
Allison – Yeah, that’s the one with Britney, and it says something along the lines of “Out of Control”. It’s on page 72 or 74. Maybe 70. The early 70s, let’s go with that. 🙂
Y’all, I am SO loving my Dyson, words cannot describe! In fact, I think I’ll go vacuum the kitchen just because I love it so!
Once I ran about five of my journal entries through the Gender Genie, and every damn one of them said I was a man. Hmmph. One of them was really close to even, but other ones were *really* sure of my manhood.
I wonder if that’s why I can’t figure out how to put on makeup?
Good god, is there anything more kissable than cat toes?
The Gender Genie thinks I’m male, too. Now I have an uncontrollable urge to scratch myself in strange places… Sigh.
Kitty pictures
…..so….cute…going…to…implode…from the sweetness…AHHHH!
I didn’t get a Dyson for Xmas, but I got a new bagless one (can’t remember the name of it), and I love it! Craig (my husband) did the same thing, going over the carpets, then running to show me what was in the canister. Ugh, not pretty…I could’ve woven a cat hair rug. Glad someone else’s house has a little less cat hair and dust in it tonight.
Hey Robyn,
Did your sister paint you a copy of the picture “the mad bluebird”?
I bought my husband the 8 by 10 print a few years ago , and they charged me $90.00!
Go your sister.!
HEHEHEHE You said, “Long Hose!”
With 3 cats, a Golden Retriever, a Black Lab, a horse, 2 kids and a hubby… My vacuum gets a serious workout! Its not a Dyson, but I love it anyway!
I know I say it EVERY time you post a Stanley picture, but I have to say it again. That is THE cutest cat…ever!
Love, Love, Love my Dyson too. It is just the master machine.
I ran several of my entries through the Genie, and they all came up male too. heh.
I too, according to the omnipotent Genie, am male. That’s funny, I didn’t make any headlines when my son was born…