2004-04-16

* * * 1. What do you do for a living? I started as Assistant-Princess of the Universe, then became Princess of the Universe, and am currently enjoying my role as Queen of the Universe. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that within the next sixth months I’ll be promoted to Ruler of the Universe. 2. What do you like most about your job? The money’s not bad. Also, shooting fire out my eyes to fry people in their tracks when they annoy me is kind of fun. 3. What do you like least about your job? People always wanting shit from me. “Queen of the Universe, if you give me a new car/ new house/ new job/ a million dollars/ great big boobies that look natural, I’ll love you forever!” Sh’yeah. Liars. They never appreciate my hard work. 4. When you have a bad day at work it’s usually because _____… The people. Damn people. People who love people need to be smacked. 5. What other career(s) are you interested in? Like I said, I’m hoping to be promoted to Ruler of the Universe, and I think after that I’ll be gunning for God’s job. American Idol will be something to see when I’m in charge, by god. I’ll send some damn angels down to blow that damn Simon out of the water.

* * *
Someone (I’m too lazy to go back and see who) posted in my comments yesterday and asked me to let them know how Lost, by Joy Fielding was. It was EXCELLENT. I was so stressed out toward the end that I thought I was going to have a stroke, but the end was excellent. I started Carrie Pilby this morning, and I started wondering whether the protagonist was autistic, because the tone of the writing reminded me so much of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. Speaking of books and such, if you check out my reading list, you’ll see that I’m on my 21st book for the month. Since today’s the 16th, I’d say I’ll probably not only meet, but exceed my goal of a book a day for April. Go, me! (And, yes. It IS nice to have all that free time so I can spend allllllll that time watching TV and reading AND still have time to exercise for an hour each morning AND write an entry five days a week. Very fucking nice, indeed.)
* * *
My two favorite things in the world. A super-size Diet Coke from McDonald’s, and Miz Poo.
Miz Poo would dearly love to try the Diet Coke, but cats can’t use straws. Duh.
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28 thoughts on “2004-04-16”

  1. I love Miz Poo! She’s a lot like my Saima.
    Your entries are always so hilarious! The bank story was perfect, capturing how assinine people can be. I just don’t get people. I really don’t.

  2. I know what you mean about sloooow people! I work and during my lunch hour I like to get my errands done and it is even more frustrating to go to the bank or post office and have to wait in line while some dumbass in front of me takes all day. I have decided that when I get “old” I am going to spend my time frustrating people during the lunch hour like I have been treated. (just kidding). Their ought to be a law!!!!
    I enjoy reading about your life each day. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend.

  3. OK, I’m reading this thinking the whole time – geez – Robyn sure has PMS! Guess that was confirmed, huh? Been there, done that, and if I have PMS – watch out!
    Once I was in line to drop off some bills in the drive-up post office box and this lady was there – and I waited, and I waited, and I looked and could see her putting mail in the slot, and then she would go back to doing something in her lap, then she would drop an envelope in the slot – she was writing her bills and putting them in the slot as she finished! Was I aggravated? YES!

  4. This is one of the funniest entries I’ve read since I started reading last month. I loved your answer to number one. lmao.
    MizPoo looks kinda scary in those pictures.

  5. Read more books than I can manage in two years? Watch TV? Exercise? Man, you have a tough gig, but somebody’s got to do it. My goal is to be like you, but the IL version! I don’t get to watch much tv (Cartoon Network on 3! TVs!), so I get recaps from you. Its a service.

  6. I am curious what you think of Carrie Pilby…I read it a couple of months ago. It was OK…it left me wanting a little more. Fortunately I followed it up with the rest of the Shopaholic series, so I am OK now. (Sophie Kinsella rocks!)

  7. I hear ya Robyn. I worked for years as a teller at a drive thru.
    Those people are especially annoying for the teller that has to sit there waiting on their slow ass so they can wait on the next customer and THEN listen to the next customer bitch. But I always sympathized with them coz I know what it is like.
    PS.
    My cat uses a sippy cup then its ON to straws. She drinks Diet Caffeine Free Dr Pepper though (we are trying to watch her caffeine intake…heh)
    no I am not serious.

  8. How can you be Queen of the Universe when I’m already Queen of the World? You are obviously high (again). Humph.

  9. Love the kitty squint photo!
    I’ll put in a good word with the Ruler of the Universe re: your desired position.

  10. This is an example of my favorite kind of entry that you do, ’cause I just laugh and laugh and laugh.

  11. Does Bitchypoo ever fail to make me laugh? Why no, no it does not. Thank you Robyn! The part about the bank got forwarded to my husband to give him a laugh today (with proper credit, of course). HEE!

  12. What I wouldn’t give for a cat with a sneer. Not the medical issues that arrive with the sneer. Just the sneer.

  13. Because they are too lazy to get their asses out of their cars, and actually use the legs God gave them and WALK inside the bank. I notice this everywhere there are drive-thru windows. Except for the idiots who have small children/babies strapped into car seats. They leave the kids unattended, while they run in for “just a minute”.The very stupidest among them leave the engine running.

  14. Nance: You are Queen of the WORLD. I am Queen of the UNIVERSE, which includes the world. Which means, in other words, that you’re middle management, and I’m one of the Vice Presidents.
    Patty: I know! I’ve been a reading fool!
    Leslie: I know! (Of course, I’m one of the lazy ones, too. Which I can’t deny! Heh.) I told myself earlier that I need to just suck it up, park, and take my ass inside. I should time it and see if it goes any faster.

  15. Here is a heads-up for you, Robyn. (Based on your list, it seems you like mysteries.) Look for O’ Artful Death when it comes out in paper in a month or so. Author is Sarah Stewart Taylor. I could send it to you if you want to borrow it. Really good, unusual story. I see you went on a Margaret Maron kick. I really like her, too.
    I think I’m only one or two books behind you. I’m a reading fool, too.

  16. Elle: Thanks, I’ll keep my eye out for it! I do like mysteries – along with most everything else but science fiction. I finished Margaret Maron’s Deborah Knott series, and I’m eventually looking forward to checking out her Sigrid Harald series (some of which are out of print – thank god for half.com!).

  17. Dammit, I don’t wanna be middle management, it makes me sound piddlin’. But you know what? As long as I get to hire and fire, I’m happy, so fuck it, you can have all the headaches (and all the Diet Coke, I want Frappuccino’s).

  18. You have not yet read “Bet Me” the new Jennifer Crusie in hardcover? Not bad. It ain’t the Dempsey ones (Welcome to Temptation and Faking it) but it’s not bad. Shoe obsession, duelling Elvises (Costello and Presley) and a winking cat.
    I’m thinking it’s a good thing that you’re not armed (as Fred is) when days like this happen. Good thing that the firey eyes o’ doom are not yet functional.
    And I’m thinking *not* on whether I should try that Seasonale if it’s ever approved in Canada. I’m cranky enough already.

  19. Robyn,
    I have a love/hate relationship with drive thru’s. On the one hand, I understand the urge to stay in one’s car. Especially if the weather is bad and/or if one has little ones who must be extracted from their car seats, hauled inside, and then dealt with while waiting in a (usually) very slow moving line.(thank God my youngest is eleven) Drive thru’s are there for the customer’s convenience. I’m talking about the folks who abuse the drive thru’s. The ones who know damn well the business they are trying to conduct demands a face to face with an inside teller. The ones who want to cash a third party out of state check with no ID. The ones who try to send 10 lbs. worth of rolled coins through the plastic capsule thingy, and disable the fucking thing, and bring all business at the drive thru to a screeching halt.(this last one happened to me)Actually, most of the time, going inside is much faster. There are usually more tellers inside, and they are better equipped to help people. Unless there are fewer than three cars in line at the drive thru, I always park and go inside. The odds that there will be someone acting like a horse’s patoot in line at the drive thru increases with each and every car!

  20. Whoops, just to clarify, I did not send 10 lbs. worth of rolled coins through the drive thru. I was stuck behind someone else who did!

  21. Robyn? Thanks for making me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants.
    The banking story and the photo of precious Miz Poo looking longingly at the big azz diet coke freaking made my day.
    If having breakthrough bleeding makes you this funny, you should have it more often. Just kidding! You’re funny most other days, too.

  22. I LOVE Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie. I think it’s her best recent book. It’s more romance than some of the others, but it’s still wonderfully snarky brilliance.

  23. HA! So those crazy fuckers who’ve pissed me off this week must’ve drove down there to piss you off as well. Twice this week I’ve been stuck behind someone like that, first some guy with a grocery cart FULL of stuffed animals, like, there must’ve been a hundred or so. Then I get the lady today at Big Lots who has one cart of regular stuff, then ANOTHER cart full of O’Henrys and Lifesavers. And, no, I’m not joking, there must’ve been at least 500 packs of candy in that damned cart.
    God hates me. It must’ve been a long trip for them from Owensboro to Madison 😉

  24. Going inside at my bank rocks!
    The tellers have been pretty much the same for years, and nobody questions why the checks are made out to my husbands middle name instead of his first anymore. Then there is the compliment guy, I see him in there a lot, and he loves my Mickey Mousee shirts, and tells blond jokes badly, in a secretive manner.

  25. I’m always too scared to back up and get behind someone else, or get into another lane. I always think…Yea, they are probably slower than this guy in front of me…then I proceed to watch that person leave, and about 3 more come in and drive out in no time.
    Oh, the inhumanity at the bank drive-thrus! Will it ever end???

  26. EXPRESS lane. That does in fact suck. I would have gotten out and said something to her. Then again, with my luck, she would have had a shot gun and blown my head off.

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