2004-05-03

who put Oxi-Clean in the dishwasher over and over and over last summer.” “Shaddup.”

* * *
Some of you unlucky people missed THE MOST COMPELLING HOUR OF TELEVISION EVER! last week. I speak, of course, of the Dr. Phil show with Marty and Erin. So here’s a quick description: Erin tells Dr. Phil that she still feels like she can’t trust Marty – she was expecting a check from a vendor. It arrived, made out to her. Marty signed the back and deposited it in his bank account without telling her. Dr. Phil went over the fact that there are two kinds of lies – untruths, and lies of omission. The whole deal with the check is a lie of omission. Marty doesn’t see what the big fuss is, because he wouldn’t care if she had done the same with a check made out to him. Dr. Phil asks Marty if he’s been faithful to Erin. Marty immediately says yes. Dr. Phil asks Marty if he’s been lying to Erin. Long pause, then Marty says no. Dr. Phil is all “Oh REALLLLLLLLLY? You’ve always been where you said you were going to be? Because I have compelling evidence that that might not be so.” Long, long silence. Marty continues with “I haven’t been lying! She always knows where I am!” Dr. Phil reminds Marty again that he has evidence. Dr. Phil says “I don’t want to be the one to tell her. You need to tell her.” All through this, Erin can’t take her eyes off Marty, and she’s obviously dying to know what the hell has happened. After more long, long, LONG silences, during which I fully expect Marty to snap and go for Dr. Phil’s throat, he finally says “I’ll tell her.” It turns out that Marty met up with one of the women he had had an affair with (he’s had at least two – possibly more, I’m not sure. At some point, whether it’s a flashback or he says it during the show (I don’t remember), he points out that he never slept with the women, that they were “intimate”, but never had sex, so I don’t know what’s going on there – probably I missed something in a previous show). As soon as he says this, Erin breaks down and starts crying. Alex embraces her, and if looks could kill, the look Alex gives Marty would have sent his brains splattering all over the place. Marty finally goes on to say that nothing happened, that he didn’t plan to meet up with the woman, he was just getting gas and she drove up and started talking to him. With Dr. Phil’s prodding, Marty says that the woman wanted to get something started (and no doubt this woman wanted to get something started because she wanted to end up on Dr. Phil as the other woman), and he said no, that he was working things out with his wife and kids. Commercial break, and then Dr. Phil asks Erin what she has to say, and she says that it’s over, she won’t put up with it anymore. I don’t remember if the audience was cheering, but I sure was! At some point Alex and Katherine get to say how disgusted they are, too. Through the entire thing, Marty sits stone-faced with his glittering serial killer eyes twirling around. And that’s what happened. The next show they’re on is apparently going to show them dealing with the fallout – Marty backstage, swearing and throwing a chair, Erin on the phone saying that Marty is NOT to come back to the house, and then Erin and Alex having it out. So that’s how the show went. Possibly I got a detail or two wrong or in the wrong order, but that’s basically how it went. I only regret that I didn’t DVR the show so I could have done a blow-by-blow for y’all! “But where will I hide the body? The back yard’s full…”
* * *
One of the many things that cracks me up about the Bean is the way his ears go out to the side when he stretches. Goofy Bean! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Previously 2003: No entry. 2002: I am now sporting a fashionable little red mustache. 2001: What? You don’t think bugs would use the word “abattoir?” 2000: Why all of a sudden is her big scary clown face all over the place talking about it?]]>

21 thoughts on “2004-05-03”

  1. Sounds like a Jerry Springer episode with higher class people!
    I so wish I had something like the Oxy Clean incident on Drew. I would SO use it in times like these..like you say Robyn. Pot, kettle, black!
    (snort)

  2. I always refer to Thursdays as Dr. Phil’s fucked up family day. Marty is a skank.

  3. Oh lordy! Good recap Robyn. I want to know what “proof” Phil had. DO you suppose he has a detective following Marty, or do you suppose he’ using those Dr. Phil ways he has of detecting the “omissions”. NO ONE LIES to Dr. Phil! I love it!
    But when *is* the next show on?? I can’t tell from the web site!

  4. Marty=SCARY. Erin and the kids need to get far, far away. As in, new location, new identities.
    Big stretch, Bean! I like the sideways ears, too. And the long-body look!

  5. I didn’t like Marty at all when he first was on the show. I disliked him more because he was just a little too excited about his daughter who was pregnant was having a boy. The way he is with his daughters, you could tell he doesn’t seem to treat women well. Erin is much better off without him. Maybe Marty and that awful wife, Stacy, of the other messed up family should get together. She would definitely drive him crazy with her wild affairs and manipulative ways. They would deserve each other.

  6. Sounds like my ex – – – now about the bodies in the back yard!!! I have a Cat calendar and this weekend I changed to May – lo and behold there is the Bean sitting in the grass on my calendar. I held my cat Shadow up to the calendar (which by the way Shadow stretches like the Bean with flat ears and all) up and say “Shadow, this looks like that cat I’ve been telling you about” My husband said I’ve lost it!

  7. Lori – I *think* it’ll be on next Thursday. This Thursday is his other Dr. Phil Family – Chris and Stacy – so I think the next Marty and Erin show will be next Thursday. As for the proof Dr. Phil had – I would bet that either Marty forgot the camera in his car was running, or maybe Dr. Phil does have a private detective following Marty. Marty’s definitely shown in the past that he lies about a lot of stuff. It also wouldn’t surprise me if Dr. Phil just knew, because he’s that good at reading people! 🙂

  8. I tivo Dr. Phil everyday. This month is going to be full of fucked-up couples. Yeah!! I so wish he had gone ahead and kicked Stacey off. Whichever college gave her a degree in family counseling is certainly proud.

  9. I really wish I could get Dr Phil here in the UK (I — gasp — don’t have cable).
    But I’m only posting a comment to say that baby oil applied with a paper towel is really good for making stainless steel surfaces look their best. Try it!

  10. Wait a minute … did I miss something? WHO is Alex? I probably missed it, but I don’t even know if Alex is a man or a woman. Now I really feel out of it.
    Did you get the cat and the toilet email??????

  11. I remember watching Oprah a long time ago when Phil was on, and they took a phone call toward the end of the show. The show was about spouses cheating on the internet, I think. The caller asked her question (about her spouse who was speding hours in chat rooms), and Dr. Phil answered her question, and then said out of the blue, “And how old were you when you were abused?” I just think that Dr. Phil’s psychological training really shines through when he does stuff like that – I think he caught Marty in a lie just by reading him. I’m with everyone else – Marty’s attachment to Alex’s baby was not healthy.
    But then… Dr. Phil TODAY. Oh my goodness!

  12. Leslie – Alex is the 15 year-old daughter who had the baby (her name is Alexandria, but they always call her Alex). I did get the email, and it made me laugh out loud. Thanks! 🙂
    Lori – I know! That looks like it’s going to be a really good series through May, too! May is always really good TV because of May sweeps, I love it!

  13. My father helps Mom get ready for bed every night, and one of the (many) details she insists on is her face cream. The other night he picked up a jar of Icy Hot instead of the Ponds cold cream and handed it to her. And she USED it! I spent half an hour washing it out of her eyes. This lack of attention to even the biggest detail has become a constant issue over here.
    Be grateful it’s just greasy formica.

  14. I’m coming back to your blog so I don’t have to watch the show.
    I thought Dr. Phil was all about healing relationships and stuff.
    Now there’s chair throwing?

  15. He looks like he could kill, but the girls faces looked like they had been forced to watch him do so. There is so much hurt in that family.

  16. I don’t know why, but I thought somebody who had seen Marty and his ex “intimate” saw the exchange and turned him in to Dr. Phil.
    You did a great recap. Dr. Phil kept asking questions and Marty gave him the silent treatment. Most people would just rush in to fill the silence, but Dr. Phil just sat there.
    And I’ve seen every show and they never did define the “intimate” relationships Marty had with these women. Erin did say that she felt they had sex, although Marty denied it.

  17. oh my gosh! am i the only person in the world who thinks marty looks almost EXACTLY like felix unger?!?!?!!

Comments are closed.