3/29/07

* * * I did this over the weekend, but keep forgetting to link to it. Remember how y’all wanted a picture guide to switching out outlets and switches? Well, here you go. There’s a link to it in the sidebar (assuming I remember to put one there). I don’t know how clear it is, but hopefully it’ll help.

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I have to say, I think that Mail2Web is just the shit. I use it to read my comments (all comments are emailed to me, and I use a non-Gmail email address because Gmail will stick all the comments into one “conversation”, which drives me nuts) and it’s come in quite handy since I’m only using the laptop to get online these days (I carry it back and forth between Smallville and Madison, which would be less of a pain in the ass if it wasn’t so fucking huge and heavy). Speaking of my laptop, I’m using the hell out of it lately. At home (Smallville) I use it to write my entries, look at pictures, and play a zillion trillion games of the very addictive Snood. Also, I use it to watch TV shows I’ve downloaded from iTunes (it PISSES me off that How I Met Your Mother isn’t available on iTunes. GET WITH THE PROGRAM, PEOPLE!). Again, life would be much easier if the fucking thing didn’t weigh 300 pounds and wasn’t the size of a small Volkswagen. I’m just saying. Last night I watched The Holiday on the TV in the computer room while sitting in the recliner (Spot seemed QUITE put out that I had the nerve to sit in HIS chair) and played Snood on the laptop. I’d have stayed up another couple of hours and played more Snood, but by the end of the movie I was falling asleep, so off to bed I went. Speaking of The Holiday, I liked the movie, except that I didn’t much care for Jack Black in that part. I usually like Jack Black a lot – LOVE him, most of the time – but in this movie I think he might as well have just had the line “I’m here, I’m funny, give me the goddamn check” over and over. Boyfriend was phoning it in. And speaking of movies (I am SO SMOOTH with the segues, aren’t I?), we watched Borat the other night. I didn’t think I’d like it – I fully expected that I’d be bored or even hate it – but I ended up not liking it, exactly, but being far more amused than I thought I would be. We actually watched the whole thing, and I think for about half the movie I sat with my hands over my eyes. I was embarrassed as hell for the people he was dealing with (the guy who had to read him the telegram about his wife dying!) and watching that sort of thing always makes me feel REALLY uncomfortable. You’ve got to hand it to the guy – where other people might be cracking up, he keeps a straight face and stays right in character. Now I’m afraid we’re going to have to check out Da Ali G Show.
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Have I mentioned that I’m a Snood addict? I get a little thrill whenever I knock down a ton of Snoods at once and the Horns of Triumph (as I call ‘em) play. I perhaps need a life.
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Yesterday while the carpet guys were installing the carpet in our house, there was a crew working on the roof of the house next door, and another working on the roof of the house three doors down. I hope like hell this doesn’t mean those houses will be going up for sale soon, because we SO don’t need the competition. So I was sitting in front of the laptop, which was resting on the dining room table, playing a recreational game of Snood (I can stop anytime I want to! I swear it!) and after a while of sitting on that hard dining room table chair, my butt always starts to hurt, because there’s not as much padding back there as there used to be. Still playing the game, I shifted to one side so that I was leaning over to my right, all my weight on my right butt cheek. Behind me, one of the carpet guys materialized out of nowhere and cleared his throat. “Would it be alright if I wash my hands?” he asked politely. I turned bright flaming red, because I got an image of exactly how I’d looked, tilted over to the side like that, and I knew he most likely thought I was lifting a cheek to fart. I stammered that there was a bathroom right behind him and he should help himself. And then I turned bright flaming red anytime I caught sight of him the rest of the day. I’m sure he went straight home and told his family about the pig of a woman who had the lung-shredding cat-hair-matted carpet and who sat around all the time lifting her ass cheek to befoul the environment just a little more.
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“I see what you’re doing there. STOP IT.”
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Previously 2006: “What IS that? Some kind of GODDAMN NICKNAME? You fucking heartless freak? You want me to kick your ass to Seattle, or you want to confess right now, jackass?” 2005: A day in the life. 2004: Naturally, the mental note got lost in the mental clutter, so I forgot she was in there, and only remembered when it had been a few hours and I hadn’t seen her. 2003: No entry. 2002: Don’t look at me like that. 2001: Of COURSE he falls in love with her inner beauty, because EVERYONE knows that fat women don’t have any of that OUTER beauty, for crying out loud. 2000: I can only hope he’ll flash me some butt cleavage.]]>