I cleared out about a year ago.
Also, holy SHIT. Newt was a total teeny baby this time last year – he was clearly NOT fully grown at that point, as this picture can attest.
(flickr)
Not that he’s so much bigger now – he’s just a small cat, really, especially compared to our indoor lazy-ass pigs who are twice his size – but now he looks like he’s all growed up.
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Yesterday I had to run to the bank to deposit a check, and on the way home I stopped at the grocery store. The grocery store is having a big, fancy grand opening (Piggly Wiggly bought them out) (I’ll let you just sit with the idea that
Piggly Wiggly was having a big, fancy grand opening. Heh.) and as a result, they had a stand in front of the store selling hot dogs and soda, and also someone dressed up in a pig outfit, given that “
Mr. Pig” is the store mascot. Also, a local country radio station was in attendance, blaring their music across the parking lot.
I went in, got what I needed to, paid (one of the big managers was running the cash register, and may I just say – I know we’re supposed to be all impressed and “Look! He’s a man of the people!” when a big manager shows up at a store opening and runs the cash register, but JESUS CHRIST they are always slow as shit. Leave it to the professionals, big managers! I got places to go and people to see AND IT SHOULDN’T TAKE THAT LONG TO FUMBLE OUT THREE ONE DOLLAR BILLS.). So I grabbed my groceries and headed for the door, and I was looking off to the side where the radio station van was sitting, trying to figure out if I’d get something for free if I went over there, when I bumped into something soft. Something large and soft.
“Oh, sorry!” I said, and turned my head to find that Mr. Pig was standing there, smiling malevolently at me. As I stared in horror, he opened his arms wide and moved closer in a bid for a hug.
I think my exact response was “Eek!” I backed up, then ducked around him and high-stepped it to my car, glancing nervously over my shoulder as I went.
Rather than chase me across the parking lot, Mr. Pig turned to force a little old lady into a hug. She didn’t look all that happy about it, but she let him hug her, and after he hugged her, he did a little dance.
That’s the stuff of nightmares, right there.
* * *
Let me add here that the above story would be much better if I had turned to find Mr. Pig standing there and reacted by screaming at the top of my lungs, dropping my groceries, and running like hell across the parking lot. In fact, just thinking about the possibility makes me giggle.
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Tommy and Boog Determine Just Who the Boss Is ‘Round These Parts
(A pictorial)
::fume::
This round goes to Tommy, but with all that het in his heart, I think we know Mister Boogers will surely make a comeback.
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Previously
2006: Maddy’s new Mommy and Daddy came a-visitin’ yesterday.
2005: Huh. I was wondering why Tom Cullen was snooping around in the stamp drawer
2004: The spud and I stood patiently by while the man chattered at the school employees for several minutes and then my head exploded, scattering brain matter everywhere.
2003: “Jessica Lynch!” I said. “Isn’t she the only POW we’ve ever had in all of history?”
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.
1999: She went in and treated the whole office to a very loud gagging sound (she gets that from her mother), and came out a few minutes later a little less green. ]]>