This is totally me:
How good are you at “eyeballing” stuff? (I sucked pretty badly, though I’m pretty good at figuring out where the middle of things are.)
(Thanks to Katherine for both those.)
Go here and type in commands to see the cute dog obey them (make sure you type in “dance” and “kiss”, it’s pretty funny). (Thanks to Elaine for the link!)
Love love LOVE that Shep. (Thanks to Fred for the link, and also for sharing my love for Shep.)
Printer won’t work? This might be why… (Thanks to several people for the link!)
Real Housewives of Atlanta; skip to the next section if you’re not interested!
So, Kim cannot sing. AT ALL. The voice coach put it as nicely as possible without actually saying the words “Kim? You could not carry a tune if Big Papa bought you a gold-plate $15,000 bucket to put it in.” And Kim’s reaction? THE VOICE COACH IS NIT-PICKING. Good god. And did you see Dallas Austin’s face when Kim was singing? I know he was thinking “Big Papa, YOU OWE ME.” My god, her voice was horrible. And I WANTED to be proven wrong, but girlfriend cannot sing. CANNOT. She can be all “I sing, because I’m a singer!” (or whatever the hell she said) all she wants, but she needs to confine that voice to the shower and not attempt to inflict it upon the world. There’s only so damn much magic they can do in the studio! Also, voice coach is SO RIGHT. Kim sings through her nose and it’s horrific.
Did DeShawn really say that she and whatshisface have been married ten years? I had no idea – I thought they were newlyweds! And I can’t believe he gave her some expensive-ass watch for her birthday and she was all “Well, I can’t wear this tonight, I’m wearing silver!” Are ya KIDDING me? RUDE. How long does it take to change your jewelry? DeShawn and her husband (his name is Eric, I just went and looked) are so stiff and awkward around each other. I suspect it’s having the cameras right there – being on camera seems to make him VERY uncomfortable. And how come we never ever ever see their kids?
I actually kind of felt sorry for NeNe, because I’m sure she never expected the “song” to blow up in her face like that. Also, is it just me, or does she appear to be drinking wine 24 hours a day? She was PLASTERED in that limo, and I think everyone but DeShawn wished she’d just shut up. Anyone think Lisa DIDN’T tell Kim about the whole thing? Very disapproving, wasn’t she?
I don’t know that Sheree has got a whole lot of room to talk about NeNe talking about Kim behind her back, given that Sheree talked a WHOLE lot of smack about NeNe not so long ago.
Man, I need to start taking notes when I watch this show. I know there was more I wanted to mention, but I can’t think of anything else! What’d I miss, y’all?
Oh! The guacamole! Really, Kim? You’re (cough) 29 years old and you don’t know what guacamole is? And then she was horrified that they mixed it up in a big stone, like it was unsanitary. Gosh, it’s too bad restaurants don’t have any way to sanitize their big guacamole-making rocks or anything, DUMBASS.
My, Miz Poo is a bit…portly….or is that just the angle of the first photo?
No, it’s not the angle. I’m not kidding when I say she’s a portly Poo. The vet tech said Miz Poo isn’t actually obese, but she’s a big chunk of a cat. She weighs just under 11 pounds, if I recall correctly. That’s about what Sugarbutt weighs, but he’s pretty muscular, and she’s a shorter cat than he is, so she’s got the spread going on.
Happy anniversary. Your second picture up there reminded me of this one.
I LOVE that series of school ID pictures.
I think you should add a new cat for every anniversary.
I’d be afraid that such a move would lead to their being no more anniversaries!
(Don’t you love how I act like it’s all my fault that we have ten cats? But it isn’t ME who lobbied for the adoption of the last three we kept!)
Just to defend calico cats – I have a 19 yr old calico who has been sick twice in her life, had one dental, and otherwise has only been to the vet for shots. She’s getting very old, but as far as I can tell that’s the only thing that’s wrong with her even now.
and
You know, I love and adore Miz Poo because I’ve been reading about her for years and years, but I don’t think you can blame the vet bills on her being a tri-colour cat. I have a calico (a true calico with bright patches of colour – not a torti), and I think over the course of her 20 years of life she’s cost me about $2000 in vet bills, total (including being spayed, a couple of intestinal things, vaccinations – which she’s only gotten a couple of times in her life, etc)
Fred says it’s not that Miz Poo’s a tri-color that’s the issue, it’s that she’s just a defective cat!
I really love my Electrolux EL1000A2 stick vac! It’s sleek, works VERY well, is pretty (which is important to me since it sits out while charging), and hasn’t let me down yet!
That IS a very pretty little stick vac.
You know, if I truly loved all y’all, I’d go out and buy these vacuums you’re recommending and try them out and report back on which is the best.
(Except Fred would kill me.)
Happy Anniversary… I saw this article today and thought of your double-egg incident! Seems these things are international news now!!
It’s funny what makes the news, isn’t it? (Also, those Japanese are COPYCATS!)
Please let us know what you think about “Dewey“. It sounds like a good read.
It was a VERY good read – I cried like a baby at the end! The descriptions of Dewey made me laugh out loud several times, it was definitely a good book and certainly worth the read. Four stars!
Do you watch Celebrity Rehab? A most delicious trainwreck!
I watched the first season, but I haven’t seen any of this season. I need to set up to tape them, because I was hooked on the first season (also, I think Dr. Drew is cuuuuuuuute.).
We didn’t have the ladybug trouble until about 4 years ago. When they first swarmed and made us hostages in our own home I thought they were the good ladybugs and hated to kill them. Those suckers are a different kind of bug and they bite the sh*t out of you. Our neighbor down the road said the Forestry Agency said that the bugs had been brought in to kill one pest and had ended up taking over. Our neighbor forgot the name of the bug but said that most indoor outdoor sprays would kill them.
and
Are you sure they are ladybugs and not Mexican bean beetles? Mexican bean beetles are considered a pest because they eat plants.
I believe they’re actually Asian Lady Beetles, because the ones I’ve looked closely at have the right markings.
Several people mentioned that since ladybugs eat aphids, they never kills ladybugs. Which is a nice sentiment, I suppose, but I’m not kidding when I say that I vacuumed up over 1,000 of them over the course of last weekend. They come in around the windows and spread through the house. If they came in and headed for the attic to hibernate, it’d be one thing, but they get in EVERYTHING, including beds, food, and the kittens’ water bowl. I’m not having it.
Luckily, the better part of the influx seems to be over, though we occasionally get one flying across the room or hanging out near the ceiling. A handful of them, I can handle. A thousand? Not so much.
Don’t some places SELL ladybugs, as garden helpers (like commenter J said, they eat a certain type of pest)? Maybe you could collect them and make a side business out of it! (Oh, I just checked on ebay, and 1500 live ladybugs only goes for $12.99.) Would the chickens like them? How about ladybug and jalapeno jam?
I actually read that you can vacuum them up, freeze them, and then put them in your garden the next Spring, and they’ll live through the experience. I’ll have to consider doing that next year, but I’ll have to resist using the hand vacuum to catch wasps, because those things I do NOT want around.
They’re supposed to be repelled by the smell of lemons. Maybe if you sprayed your window and door frames with the diluted juice?
I’m actually planning to give this a try next year. If it doesn’t work, at least it’ll smell nice when we walk by the windows, right? And if it DOES work, I won’t have to spend a weekend scrubbing ladybug asian lady beetle goo (they leave goo behind, did you know that?) off every window and window frame in the house.
Did I miss something? When did Kara move in for good?
Several of you have asked this. The announcement was here, and the longer entry about it was here.
I have a random-ass question for Friday. What color are the Anderson cats’ toe pads? I know you lurve kitty toes as much as I do…
I would take a picture of all their toes for you, but my helper’s already left for work, so descriptions will have to do.
Black toes: Tommy, Maxi, Kara.
Gray toes: Mister Boogers.
Pink toes: Spanky, Newt, Sugarbutt, Joe Bob.
Black and pink: Miz Poo.
Undetermined: Stinkerbelle (I can’t get a good look at her toes, but will report in the future.)
Loved those polls! The chicken hat, without a doubt, was overly persuasive and I just had to vote for Mr. Cullen. Who was his running mate?
No running mates this time around – but keep an eye out in mid-2012 for a much fancier campaign.
Did you happen to catch Ellen’s Halloween show? I finally watched it last night and the clips of her scaring people made me laugh and laugh.
I haven’t seen it yet, but after I watch Grey’s Anatomy here in a little while, I’m going to go over to YouTube and catch up on Ellen!
CAT “comedy!!!” (Say in Jesse Joyce’s voice.) Thanks for talking about KATG on your site. I always assumed it was a local radio station from your area. When Hubby got me a Ipod last Xmas, I thought I would look for KATG on itunes. What a great way to laugh away my doldrums.
I LOVE Jesse Joyce, especially when he gets nit-picky. He’s such a bitch about some things, he cracks me up.
Also, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – I LOVE Keith and the Girl. They always crack me up.
You could be a new superhero: Super Scoop!
I meant to get Fred to take a picture of me in a badass gangsta position, but completely forgot. Next time!
Mister Boogers looks giant in that picture where he’s in front of you.
It’s the angle. He’s a pretty average-size cat, though his het does make him look bigger.
If you’re looking for additional uses for other things, we use the bucket on my dad’s loader for all sorts of things. I climb in it and my dad raises it up so I can clean out the gutters at their house. He’s also boosted me waaaaay up to fix the roof on the owl house in the highest tree on the property. However, I will not go near the bucket when my brother is driving the tractor. I have a feeling he’d send the bucket as high as it would go and then wander off (on purpose) for a day or two.
There’s a tree in the back yard that has a web of those worms on it (I can’t think of what they’re called, but y’all know what I mean? A big web forms and then worms come out of it and eat the hell out of your tree?) and I’ve told Fred that he needs to bring the tractor into the back yard and lift me up so I can cut that branch down and burn it.
I suspect if I get myself lifted up in the bucket of the tractor in the future, there will be pictures taken.
And when you told Fred that you wanted him to take a bunch of pictures with you doing things with scoop hands, he didn’t think you were crazy?!
Nah, he usually goes along with whatever I need him to take pictures of, though sometimes he grumbles about being pulled away from what he’s doing. This time he informed me that I have too much time on my (SCOOP) hands and perhaps I need a hobby.
Um. I HAVE a hobby, and it’s called bitchypoo.com! DUH.
I love how you look completely confounded and frustrated by the picking of carrots, just like the infomercials.
“You flip, and they flop!” *Woman looking frustrated and overwhelmed by the flipping of pancakes*
“Love pasta, but hate draining the hot water?” How do you separate pasta from water?
Fred said “Now, scowl!” and I did, and then he laughed and snapped the picture. I can scowl with the best of ’em!
I have to ask, y’all, what’s the big deal with pasta draining? Why are there so many tools to drain pasta? Is it really that big of an issue, to dump the pasta into a colander? That’s what I usually do, but am I doing it wrong? Do I really need a tool especially made for draining pasta?
Just think of how fast you could swim with those on! lol
I bet I’d totally make it to the Olympics with those things (though somehow I suspect the Olympics are anti SCOOP HANDS). Hmmm. Maybe I should take on the English Channel with SCOOP HANDS!
There is a neat site that displays the front pages of tons of newspapers. The link takes you there, but it’ll be for today’s date. You can switch to November 5th to see the post-election pages.
How neat is that! Thanks for the link!
I was reading past entries (sometimes those “previously” snippets pull me in), so now I must know. The spud had a brown hamster and a gray hamster 8 years ago that were “getting jiggy with it.” Did you end up with hamster babies or were they both male, like the pet store guy said they were???
Oh no, they were NOT both male like that fucking pet store guy said they were. One of them was female, and we ended up with a litter (?) of hamsters, which I wrote about here. I wrote here about persuading Fred to let the spud keep two of the baby hamsters (with the idea of keeping a female in the cage with the mother and a male in the cage with the father). Then, when the baby hamsters were about a month old, we took all of them back to the pet store at the spud’s request. And the mother hamster was pregnant again already.
Apparently I didn’t take a single picture of the baby hamsters. Good GOD things have changed – these days, it’d be all hamster pictures all the time until y’all begged for mercy!
where did you get that bird bath/watering thing? I love it and *must* have one for my backyard!
At the Country Store Catalog site, here to be exact. I have two of those bird baths, one hanging on the front porch and one hanging in the side yard, and I LOVE them. They’re not the most gorgeous bird baths/ waterers around, but they’re easy to clean and they hold a lot of water and the birds really seem to like them. The squirrels too, for that matter.
I think you should shorten Maxi “Outside Mama”‘s name to Maxi Omama.
Hmm. Maxi Omama And3rson. Kind of has a ring to it, no?
I know you read the books, but have you seen this?
Oh man – how neat would it be to have Stanley J. Boogerton – or Crooked Acres! – in a Charlaine Harris novel? The bidding’s already up to $870, which is way too pricey for my blood, but if anyone wants to bid on Mister Boogers’ behalf, go for it!
The kittens are continuing to do well. They had the run of the entire upstairs yesterday, and when I went up to hang out with them in the evening, Kara followed me up because she just loves to hang out in my bedroom. She ran into my bedroom and apparently Marion was in there, on the bed, and Kara sniffed at her and Marion hissed and flew out of my room and into the kitten room.
Delmar and Lem were snoozing on their cat tree, but I didn’t see Claudette anywhere, so I went looking for her. When I walked into my bedroom, I saw her scoot out from under my bed, into the closet, where she hid behind some boxes. I picked her up and she allowed that for a few minutes, then fought for me to put her down. When I did, she flew into the kitten room.
I went into the kitten room and all the kittens glared at me from atop the cat tree, but as soon as I sat down, they all came over for love and petting. They’re getting friendlier every day – Claudette actually demanded that I pet her yesterday. She purrs so loud. It’s hard to believe that volume of sound is coming from such a little thing!
A few more pics at L&H.
Kara LOVES being outside.
Previously
2007: I nominate Fred to do all the slaughtering himself.
2006: Questions answered.
2005: This makes me want to wrap my child in bubble wrap and lock her in her room until she’s 35.
2004: No entry.
2003: Meme.
2002: “How fucking much is that goddamn bread? A dollar ninety-fucking-five? Okay, put a couple of the motherfuckers in my cart, would you, fuckwad?”
2001: I briefly considered making a citizen’s arrest.
2000: (ie, “It’s all the fault of that fat bitch you married!”)
1999: I woke this morning at 2:30ish, feeling something wasn’t quite right.