Lately, by the time evening rolls around, I am absolutely wiped out. I think this is a side effect of the surgery, which – from what I hear – lasts several weeks to a couple of months, and it SUCKS. Last night we were watching CSI at 7:00, and I could barely keep my eyes open.
Hopefully it’ll pass quickly, because – did I mention? – this SUCKS.
(Yes, I’m taking my iron and B12 supplements, so it’s not that.)
* * *
Recently – I don’t have any idea how I stumbled across the site – I found myself on
Alabama Health Careers. After spending a good, long time looking at every single career and what schools around this area provided training for said careers, I decided that I could totally become a Scrub Technician. Never MIND that I can’t even bear to watch operations on TV and have to look away until Fred tells me it’s safe to look again, I was totally determined that I could become a Scrub Tech. I’d be a GOOD Scrub Tech, and I’d keep close count on the scalpels and shit, and NO ONE would ever go away from an operation wherein I was in charge of the instruments with a scalpel or clamp still left inside.
I’d totally be Scrub Tech of the year. Doctors would be impressed by my Techness, and other Scrub Techs would live in fear of me.
And then I went to the local college that offers the Scrub Tech course, and I read the personal characteristics of a Scrub Tech, like so:
The ability to perform under pressure in stressful and emergency situations is an essential quality of a surgical technologist. A stable temperament, a strong sense of responsibility, considerable patience, and good organizational skills are important. Manual dexterity and physical stamina are vital. The Surgical Technologist must be able to work quickly, but accurately, and must be oriented to detail, yet able to integrate a number of activities according to priority.
and then I said “Well, fuck THAT.” Because performing well under pressure? Not so much. I am absolutely the last person on Earth you want in the vicinity if there’s an emergency. Years ago when Fred was making gravy and he splashed boiling-hot oil on my foot, I basically screamed and ran around in circles.
(Let me point out here that his bright idea was to bend down and WIPE the boiling oil off my foot, thus wiping off layers of skin WITH the boiling oil, so that when he took me to the emergency room I walked along with one bare foot, with skin hanging off my foot. I don’t really recommend him in a boiling-oil-on-the-foot crisis.) (But I DO have an excellent badass scar on my foot, so there’s that.)
So, no Surgical Tech school for me.
I went back to looking through the careers available, and I decided “I could TOTALLY become an X-Ray Tech. I’d be an excellent X-Ray Tech! Doctors would request me personally, and other X-Ray Techs would cower in the awesomeness that would be my X-Ray Tech skills.”
So I went to the web page for the local school that offers a two-year Radiologic Technology program, and I read the following requirements:
# Be a high school graduate with an overall grade point average of 2.0 or have a GED with a minimum overall score of 500
# Have a high school or college level Algebra course with at least a “C” average
# Have a high school or college level Anatomy and Physiology or Biology course with at least a “C” average
And… huh? Becoming an X-Ray Tech involves things like Algebra and Science? Because, um, FUCK THAT.
Therefore, my idea of getting some training in the health care field (don’t even try to tell me to become a nurse, ’cause I think not) came to an end. I don’t know what the hell I’ll do when Fred runs off with some hussy and leaves me high and dry OR falls down the mountain one day when he’s hiking and lands in a hidden gorge where no one finds his body until he’s been dead for weeks.
(Yes, he has life insurance, but it’s enough to set me up for a few years, not a lifetime. I keep suggesting he up his life insurance, but he always takes it badly when I say “Hey baby, why not up your life insurance by about 200 percent?” I wonder why?)
In either of those scenarios, I imagine I’d have to find a job and work for a living ( ::shudder::), and it’s always easier to find a job if you have some kind of specialized training.
Or so I’ve heard.
Maybe one of these days I’ll figure out what I want to be when I grow up… Or, hey! Maybe one of these days I’ll actually grow up!
(Don’t hold your breath.)
* * *
Tommy in motion (pardon the blurriness).
The kitty committee meeting is in session.
Sneaky Spanky.
Sugarbutt, grabbing for the camera.
(
On the claws.
On the collar.)
All of today’s uploaded pictures are
here.
* * *
Previously
2005: Questions answered.
2004: I am absolutely stunned that… I frankly couldn’t give less of a shit.
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: I have to wonder, what the hell do all you skinny people do?
2000: Yes, this is a lame, short entry, but since y’all love me, you’ll be back. Right?]]>
Do the cats ever try to climb the trees?
Also, you should post a picture of the alleged badass scar. 😉
You’re kittys are so lucky. I wish mine could explore outside.
Awww… Spot missed the committee meeting! Hope it was simply some prior commitment. I lurve Spot.
Part of me wants to see the badass scar, but most of me is flapping my hands and making small keening noises at the very thought of it.
Not only do Xray techs have to do math and know every bone in the body, but we also have to draw blood, give shots, do urine tests, pregnancy tests, dress wounds, assist in female exams …. and any other little thing the doctor tells you to do. Yeah. It’s more like being a medical assistant who can also take a few Xrays!
~~Kath~~
I love the kitty committee meeting photo! Love it! Maybe they Spot to get the coffee?
Well, I totally think you could make a rocking living publishing books with your cat stories. I’d buy every last one.
That Tommy is one sexy bitch!
So I guess I’m not the first one to notice that Spot was missing from the Kitty Committee Meeting. Too bad he missed it. Wasn’t he supposed to report to the Kitty News and World Report and Washington Post about the meeting?
Funny how it appears that the “collared” gentlemen are on one side of the tree – far from the fence and Ms. Poo and Spanky are on the other – right next to the fence. It appears that Ms. Poo and Spanky are leading the meeting.
What are those collars anyway? Ha ha!
do you have to remove the claw covers to clip their toenails? or do they just not grow while they have them on?
Robyn, if you are hell bent on a medical type career, learn medical terminology (not so bad….bigass long words but you have brains) and with your mad keyboarding skillz you could be a medical transcriptionist! You wear a cute headset and type up doc notes! Of course, you have to learn some accents if living in Alabama is anything like living up here in Michigan, where there are a gazillion docs from India, Pakistan, Iran, and other countries with accents lol.
Lots of places even let you work at home.
I don’t think the pay is real fantastic but it would be book-buying money. I think around here they make 12-15 bucks per hour.
First-off, I need to thank you, thank you! for recommending the Haven Kimmel books. I haven’t enjoyed a memoir so much, ever. She’s marvelous.
That said, why don’t you collect some of your cat stories and see an agent? You’re a good writer, you have the knack of making us all able to see and hear
what you’re describing (harder than it sounds!) and
so … what’s to lose?
Hey, if you’re really thinking about what you want to be when you grow up, why not? Take a creative writing class at your local community college, and see where it takes you. My bet is, you could make it.
I’d buy a book by you, and I bet the others who don’t ever miss a day reading your blog would buy it too.
LOVE the kitty committee picture!! You know they’re out there together to scheme ways to get you back for being the bad evil parents that torment them daily!
The kitty committee meeting is priceless! Ditto on the collared on one side and uncollared on the other. Hee. It is just too bad Spot is not in it because then it would be the perfect photo to use for a banner. Still is though. Maybe have Spot to the side reporting as mentioned. Heeeeee! Listen to us.
Anyhoo. The ideas on medical transcriptionist and writing field for employment options are very good ones. Brea has a friend whose mother is a medical transcriptionist and she works from home. From what Brea says she is able to tap away at the keys while listening to a headphone and run her brood of five children at the same time!
As to your writing you are great. You have one of my favorite writing styles. I call it the live it as you are reading it style.
Whatever you decide to be when you grow up I am sure you will kick ass at it. 😉
Marian is totally correct. I would definitely buy a book that you wrote. You have an obvious talent for writing and story telling. Why else do we all come back to read every day? (besides the cat pics, of course) Go for the creative writing course!
You know DAMN well that the Poo and Spanky are over there going “neener neener you cant come this far”
OH MY GOD the skin story has made me shudder violently. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, either. I ended up being a teacher when I was around 41. Now I keep threatening to quit and start a dog-walking business.
I was actually a scrub tech for about a minute…I couldn’t tolerate the surgical attitude of all the people in the operating room so I left that career behind for my now wonderful career of Domestic Diva. I want to get back in the medical field again someday. So I’ve been looking into Medical Transcription. Work from home AND on a computer all day? I can do that!
I second the medical transcript thing…
You’d get to hear all about peoples weird illnesses and type it up at home. You could work for a couple docs and do it from home. You can make your own hours since you are a night owl it’d be great.
all of those kitties under a tree. cracks me up!
I vote you should be a novelist. I would buy your book. 🙂
Wow, do I ever agree with everyone today. Great kitty committee pic, medical transcriptionist, writing – oh yeah…. I’ve hopped to other folks on line sites and ALWAYS come back to yours. It’s your style that keeps us all hanging on every word.
Maybe your tiredness is a result of the anesthesia as much as from the surgery. When I had major surgery about 25 years ago, I was told that it takes your body close to a year to totally recover from the aftereffects of the anesthesia … immune system, energy levels, overall get-up-and-go. Well, you’re basically dead while they operate, so it kinda makes sense … Poco a poco (that’s Spanish for little by little) and I bet you will be feeling your old self once again.
Being a scrub tech is an extremely demanding job. I observed surgeries during nursing school and I was amazed at what they have to do. The setting up alone was mind numbing. The worst part? They have to STAND in the same spot during the surgery while also keeping track of every single sponge, tweezer, etc.
MUCH easier, in my opinion to do almost anything else at that level in the health care field.