05/05/2000

Who Wants to be a Millionaire? went seven minutes over last night? I was hugely peeved; enraged, even. We intended to go to bed as soon as it was over, and tape ER. Only we couldn’t tape ER, because ER was on channel 5, and Millionaire was on channel 12, and the tv had to be tuned in to channel 5 to tape channel 5. Finally, I grabbed the tape out of the VCR in the living room and ran into the bedroom and threw it in the VCR there, and got it taping. Oh, I was so furious. It’s just so fucking rude and presumptuous to assume "Oh, we can go a few minutes over, it’s not like there’s anything else they want to watch!" Like they couldn’t have cut 7 minutes worth of Regis’ yammering, or Ray Romano making smartass comments? I think they could have if they’d wanted. I told Fred that I am never, NEVER watching that fucking show again. He doesn’t believe me, but I’m dead serious. Grrrrr. I have taken up shaving my legs in the shower. Until now, I’ve always sat on the edge of the bathtub upstairs and shaved my legs, but it’s such a pain in the ass that I decided I’d just do it in the shower from now on. This morning, I failed to put my contacts in before I took my shower, so that was fun, standing there squinting down at my leg trying to figure where I’d left off. I also cut the fuck out of my leg. And not on the delicate, difficult ankle portion, but the flat, straight just below my knee portion. It bled like a motherfucker after I got out of the shower, and when I’d decided it had stopped, I used a damp tissue to wipe up the dried blood, which only pissed off the cut, it appears, because there’s another big dry patch of blood there now. Spanky is howling his fool head off, and I’m afraid I may have to throw something at him. Oh, now he’s in the bathroom, telling his woes to the toilet seat. He’s the biggest damn howling-for-no-reason momma’s boy I’ve ever seen. When I was but a wee child, I asked my mother if the people in soap operas were really kissing each other, or if they used trick photography to make it look like they were kissing. She informed me that they were really kissing ("For god’s sake, how would they do TRICK PHOTOGRAPHY?") and I was less than pleased. It freaked me out that people who weren’t involved with each other were kissing each other like that. I don’t know why that memory popped into my mind; maybe because I spent a good part of the morning watching the last two week’s worth of The Bold and the Beautiful, and they really go at it on that show. The TV is now on MTV, and Christina Aguilera and some of her bimbo friends are talking about her favorite videos. God, please tell me when I was 19 I didn’t sound that much like an airhead… Okay, enough rambling from me. Happy Cinco de Mayo! ]]>