received. Say it with me, folks: I don’t fucking think so. When Fred got home, he called Amazon for me. He has a much easier time being an ass to people he doesn’t know (yes, I know y’all are surprised!), and therefore he’s this family’s designated asshole. He got some kid at Amazon, who listened to the whole story, and then wanted to talk directly to me. When he got me on the phone, he proceeded to tell me that I would have to deal directly with the seller and try to get a refund from him. Because the seller’s been so good at communicating thus far, you know. So I handed the phone back to Fred, who just went to town on the kid. When he was apparently getting nowhere with the kid, he asked for his supervisor, who the kid claimed was not available. Then he asked for his supervisor’s supervisor, who oddly was also not available. It went on in this vein for a few minutes, until Fred asked "How do you know? Are you the designated tracker for all the supervisors?", which broke the kid’s pattern (that’s a Tony Robbins-ism) and got him somewhere. I can fill out a claim form to Amazon, saying that the product I received was not the product advertised in the auction, and Amazon will decide whether to refund my money. All is not lost, however. If Amazon doesn’t refund my money, I’ll call the credit card company and dispute the charge. Thank god for Visa. We have a bird feeder hanging off the fence, behind the pool, and while we were floating around Wednesday afternoon, we noticed that there was a bird partaking of some fine quality generic birdseed. We discussed how unusual it was that the bird would be eating, with us so close. Then we forgot he was there, and went on to discuss other matters. Suddenly, we heard a loud noise, and birdseed scattered, covering a wide swath of the lawn near the fence. When I turned to look, the bird feeder was swinging wildly back and forth, the bird had flown off, and Fancypants was looking disgruntled. Apparently he’d done a high leap and hit the bird feeder in an attempt to catch the bird. We heard many loud, excited chirps from the tall tree in the next yard over, so apparently the bird had gone over to tell all his friends not to bother with the feeder in our yard. Yesterday morning, Fancypants, Spanky, and Spot spent a large amount of the morning laying on the lawn directly underneath the bird feeder. Birds would fly to the top of the fence, peer at the bird feeder, and then peer to where the cats were sitting completely still, laugh heartily, and flit off to a bird feeder next door. Poor kitties. I guess they’ll have to be satisfied with the grasshoppers and crickets they find in the yard. While I’m talking about bad online experiences, I’ll mention Fred’s experience with drugstore.com. He went on and ordered a bunch of stuff last week, and when he was finalizing his order, he was informed that he would be receiving a free something or other, since this was his first order with them. Okay, whatever. The next day, he got an email from drugstore.com’s customer service, informing him that he wasn’t eligible for the free item because someone at this address had purchased stuff from them before, and received a free whatever at that point. Okay, whatever. Except, instead of just sending the stuff he ordered – and wanted – they canceled his fucking order. Can you believe that? Idiots. He was furious, and emailed them telling him he hadn’t asked for a free thing, didn’t want a free thing, and he guessed drugstore.com wasn’t the only fish in the internet. They haven’t emailed back yet, begging his forgiveness and offering him an extra-special $15 off coupon. Fuck ’em. I don’t know whether we’re going to go to Gatlinburg for the 4th of July or not. We had intended to, but when Fred started calling to see what houses were available for rental, it appeared that all the good ones were taken. Other people, it would appear, thought far, far ahead and made their reservations months in advance. That’s what Fred gets for wanting to be "spontaneous", I told him. Coming down the stairs, I hear *thump*chirrup*thump*chirrup*thump*chirrup* This would be the kitten, who has caught and killed her toy with the long string on it, and is bringing it to Mommy, so Mommy will coo over her and scritch her on the head. Speaking of the kitten, I was dead to the world at 3 am this morning, when I was rudely awakened by her using her cold, cold little paws to smack me repeatedly on the back. She does this when I’m sleeping on my stomach, because she wants me to turn over on my side, so she can climb up on my arm and lay along my neck. I was so dead asleep, though, that even though I was awakened, I didn’t know what was going on, so I lifted my head up and petted her, then dozed back off. She tried smacking me some more – I vaguely recall it – then gave up and climbed up on my pillow and draped herself over my head. After a few minutes of her fur tickling my nose, I realized what was going on and turned over. She was happy, and settled in against my neck for a few minutes, until she heard one of the other cats making noise in another part of the house and had to go investigate. Y’all have a good weekend! ]]>