Big, bad thanks to my sister (and Brian!), who sent me Purple Cane Road and Another Day in Paradise off my wish list for my birthday. Whee!

Speaking of birthday presents (have I mentioned that it’s my birthday month?), I did get a bouquet of flowers from my friend Liz last Tuesday:

which makes it very flowery in BitchyLand, because Fred bought me these this weekend while he was getting groceries:

and we already had these, from last weekend:

I wonder where he got the idea that I like yellow?

* * *

So, you know what I hate? Don’t bother guessing – you know I’m about to tell you. I hate, loathe, despise those FUCKING Clairol Herbal Essence commercials. You know the ones I mean, the ones where women are washing their hair with Herbal Essence shampoo in some public place and doing a big IDIOTIC fake orgasm as they do so, and then looking all smug and proud of themselves at the end before the voiceover says something about an "organic experience".

My god, I hate those fucking commercials, and what’s more, I can’t help wondering what brainiac came up with the concept. Most likely, everyone in the ad agency was sitting around smoking crack, and someone said "So they’re going with the tagline about the organic experience?", and someone else said "Did you say ORGASMIC experience?!", and hilarity just ensued all over the place, and they stayed up all night working on the storyboards, and when they wheeled 300 year-old Bob Clairol (the head of Clairol, of course) into the meeting the next day, they presented the idea, and Bob Clairol drooled, and they took that as agreement to the idea, not realizing – and not caring, because WE ALL KNOW THAT CRACK MAKES YOU NOT CARE ABOUT THINGS – that Bob Clairol was in the midst of stroke number fifteen.

In fact, I hate that commercial so much that I have declared a Clairol boycott. Not ONE Clairol product will pass the Bitchypoo doorstep until that fucking commercial is pulled from the airways never to annoy and enrage me again, ever. I suggest y’all do the same.

Know what other commercial annoys me, though much less than that FUCKING Clairol commercial? The commercial for that dumbass spoof movie Kung Pow, and I hate it so much because the beginning of the trailer always sucks me in. "Oh!" I think to myself EVERY TIME, "This sounds interesting, what is it?", and then they show the guy wearing the bad wig, who’s looking (the guy, not the wig) at the girl with three breasts, and my interest goes from something like a 7, to a -56. That movie, my friends, will NOT be showing up in THIS house. I guarantee it.

Okay, that’s all I have to bitch about today. Go forth and don’t buy any Clairol products. See you tomorrow!